Wellness: Shrekking: Gen Z’s Controversial New Dating Trend
- InsightTrendsWorld
- Sep 3
- 5 min read
What is the Shrekking Trend?
Definition: “Shrekking” is a dating term where individuals deliberately “date down”—choosing partners they consider less conventionally attractive, charismatic, or desirable—with the hope of finding more authenticity or security.
Pop Culture Origin: The phrase draws inspiration from the fairytale romance in Shrek, where Princess Fiona falls for an unlikely match, the ogre Shrek.
Gen Z Twist: Instead of being about true love, online culture reframes it as settling for someone “below your league” in the belief they’ll treat you better.
Why it is the topic trending: Humor Meets Toxic Dating Logic
TikTok Amplification: Viral creators use humor and sarcasm to describe failed experiences of “dating down,” making the term stick.
Cynical Dating Culture: With ghosting, breadcrumbing, and gaslighting already common terms, Shrekking resonates as another shorthand for modern frustrations.
False Promise: Many admit they believed “lower standards = better treatment,” only to find that poor behavior isn’t tied to attractiveness or “league.”
Generational Anxiety: Shrekking reflects Gen Z’s struggle with self-worth, authenticity, and the toxic hierarchies built into dating apps and social media.
Overview: Why Shrekking Isn’t Cute—It’s Problematic
While wrapped in humor, Shrekking reflects deeper insecurities and toxic expectations. The belief that “dating down” guarantees kindness or loyalty reveals a transactional view of relationships, one that reduces people to rankings of attractiveness or value. In practice, Shrekking often ends in regret—partners still cheat, mistreat, or disappoint, proving that respect isn’t tied to perceived desirability.
Detailed findings: Shrekking in Practice
The Assumption: Less attractive = more grateful = more loyal.
The Reality: Many find that partners labeled “Shreks” still behave poorly, leaving daters disillusioned.
Toxic Framework: The very idea of “dating down” reinforces harmful hierarchies, fueling insecurity and shame.
Cultural Layer: The fairytale reference gives it a meme-able quality, but the emotional fallout is real.
Expert View: Amy Chan, breakup coach and author, stresses that while attraction can grow over time, assuming “dating down” ensures good treatment is flawed thinking.
Key success factors of addressing Shrekking in dating culture
Promote Self-Awareness: Encourage people to recognize when they are settling for the wrong reasons.
Challenge Hierarchies: Normalize the idea that attraction is multi-dimensional, not a rigid scale.
Focus on Values: Guide dating decisions based on kindness, compatibility, and shared vision—not perceived leagues.
Encourage Conversations: Online discourse should move from jokes to deeper reflections on self-worth and expectations.
De-stigmatize Choice: Dating someone less “conventional” isn’t the issue—it’s doing so from a place of low self-esteem or transactional thinking.
Key Takeaway: Dating Down Doesn’t Mean Leveling Up
Shrekking shows that lowering standards based on looks or status doesn’t guarantee better treatment. Respect and loyalty are earned, not dictated by where someone sits on a hierarchy of desirability.
Main Trend: Toxic Glossaries in Gen Z Dating
Shrekking is part of the growing trend where dating culture is reduced to buzzwords. While useful shorthand, these terms risk normalizing toxic mindsets that frame relationships as competitions rather than connections.
Description of the trend: Shrekking – Lowering Standards in Search of Security
A viral dating behavior where individuals deliberately choose partners they see as less conventionally attractive, assuming this will lead to stability and loyalty—often ending in disappointment.
Key Characteristics of the Core trend: Humor Masking Toxicity
Fairytale Branding: Borrowed from Shrek, making it shareable and ironic.
Hierarchical Thinking: Frames people as “up” or “down” in dating leagues.
False Security: Assumes worse treatment comes from more desirable partners.
Memetic Spread: TikTok and social platforms drive adoption.
Emotional Backlash: Leads to regret, mistrust, and disillusionment.
Market and Cultural Signals Supporting the Trend: Why It’s Spreading
Dating App Culture: Swipe-based apps reinforce hierarchy and “league” language.
Gen Z Humor: Dark, self-deprecating humor makes toxic behaviors relatable.
Relationship Fatigue: Young people joke about failed connections to process disappointment.
Cultural Icons: Shrek nostalgia adds ironic relatability.
Toxic Normalization: Online communities normalize harmful dating archetypes.
What is consumer motivation: Why People Shrek
Avoid Rejection: Lowering standards to feel safer in relationships.
Seeking Loyalty: Hoping “less desirable” partners will cherish them more.
Experimentation: Trying unconventional matches for novelty or authenticity.
Social Pressure: Following viral trends or jokes as part of online identity.
What is motivation beyond the trend: The Deeper Longing
The real motivation isn’t about dating down—it’s about searching for security, validation, and genuine connection in an uncertain, app-driven world.
Descriptions of consumers: The Shrekking Generation
Consumer Summary
Mostly Gen Z, navigating dating apps, meme culture, and self-worth struggles. Humor is a coping mechanism for failed expectations.
Detailed summary
Who are they? Gen Z digital natives active on TikTok, Instagram, and dating apps.
Age: 18–30.
Gender: Inclusive, but women in particular use the term to process bad dating experiences.
Income: Varied; more about cultural than economic identity.
Lifestyle: App-driven dating, heavy social media use, reliance on humor and irony.
How the Trend Is Changing Consumer Behavior: Glossary Dating Culture
More people categorize relationships with viral buzzwords.
Normalization of toxic dynamics framed as jokes.
Greater skepticism in dating decisions.
Possible reinforcement of shallow hierarchies in partner selection.
Implications of trend Across the Ecosystem: Beyond the Meme
Consumers: Risk reinforcing self-sabotaging beliefs.
Dating Apps: May see increased skepticism toward “attractiveness ranking” dynamics.
Brands: Opportunities to counter with messaging around authenticity, kindness, and real connection.
Culture: Reflects broader anxieties about love in a hyper-digital, appearance-driven age.
Strategic Forecast: What’s Next for Shrekking
Normalization of Toxic Terms: More buzzwords will emerge, shaping how young people interpret dating.
Counter-Movements: Authenticity campaigns from brands and creators pushing back on shallow hierarchies.
Therapy & Coaching Growth: Greater demand for advice in navigating toxic dating cultures.
Meme Evolution: Shrekking will become part of broader internet humor around relationships.
Cultural Debate: Raises questions about desirability, self-esteem, and respect in modern dating.
Areas of innovation: Responding to Shrekking Culture
Dating App Features: Tools that focus on compatibility and values over looks.
Educational Campaigns: Promoting healthy relationship standards.
Humor With Heart: Content creators reframing Shrekking jokes into lessons.
Wellness Products: Therapy apps or self-care products targeting dating fatigue.
Community Spaces: Safe online/offline spaces for real connection beyond hierarchies.
Summary of Trends
Core Consumer Trend: Dating hierarchies driving toxic behaviors like Shrekking.
Core Social Trend: Glossary-driven communication of dating struggles.
Core Strategy: Use humor to process pain—but risk normalizing toxicity.
Core Industry Trend: Dating apps reinforcing or disrupting appearance-first hierarchies.
Core Consumer Motivation: Seeking security and validation in an uncertain dating climate.
Final Thought: Love Shouldn’t Be a Meme
Shrekking is funny on the surface but troubling underneath. It reflects Gen Z’s humor-driven way of coping with modern dating disappointments, but it also highlights the risks of reducing relationships to hierarchies. True connection isn’t about dating “up” or “down”—it’s about respect, compatibility, and authenticity.
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